So, its the typical Saturday night crowd, except… I’m in Ventura…
I’m sitting playing a video game of ninja status, when I’m summoned to the beach…
As I’m driving a homeless man on Seaward jumps in front of my car and nearly gets him self killed, then proceeds to shout… “You’re not suppose to miss!”. Pretty spry guy for what looked like to be a homeless guy in his 60’s.
I proceeded to get to the beach, no further bum divers in the way.
I pull up to a little street and wait at the map drop point. Two people stumble their way towards my vehicle. The guy trips and falls almost face first into the sandbank he’s coming down. The girl almost falls with him.
They stabilize and work their way towards my car.
I’m worried now that someone may have had a bit too much to drink… Big understatement.
So, they settle into the car and immediately start making out in the back seat.
Since they hadn’t given me an address, I just sat and waited.
The sound emanating from the back seat was starting to get on my nerves. Instead of two people kissing, it sounded more like a cow chewing loudly on its cud.
Finally one brilliantly looked up and said, “Why aren’t we moving?”.
The other quickly said, oh my address, and thus we were on our way.
They discussed eloquent things in the back, like getting hammered , and they couldn’t believe they got away with having sex on the beach.
About halfway there, I heard from the woman, “I think I have a bunch of sand in my vaj.”
Then I hear the guy say,”What are you doing?”.
She hands him her underwear and starts brushing off her cooch in my car.
He asked her if she needed help, as I pulled the car over and kicked both of them out.