Lie Hard… Lie Harder

UCLA,

I got summoned, from all places, the freeway.  Meandering my way through traffic to get to the offramp in time was going to be tough, with the last minute request for a ride. Fortunately, I made it to Wilshire without having to bypass it and go to the Santa Monica exit.

As I made my way up Veteran, I get a phone call from my passenger.  He requested that I honk my horn when I arrive, so that his girlfriend knows he’s being picked up. An odd request, but I complied.

As he made his way to my vehicle, his girlfriend stood there and watched him for a few minutes, then went inside.

Dude, okay this is a really strange request, but my car is actually less than a block away, but I need you to drive me around for about 3 minutes in the area before we head over to it. So she doesn’t see me.

Again with the strange requests, but I just said, “Sure”. I didn’t care why really, I’m sure he had his own reasons… but, he explained it to me anyhow.  Why do the villains always have to explain their intricate plans?

So, I was late to the airport to pick up my chick, because I was busy macking with another chick. So I told this one that I had a little fender bender and was running late to pick her up because of it. I took a Lyft to the airport to cover for my car not being damaged, but I forgot her apartment is right around the corner from the other chicks apartment. Thats why I summoned you. I really like this girl and I’m gonna make it work with her, so that was my last time with the girl around the corner, it was break up sex.  So I just need to complete this little lie and everything will work great from here.

I wasn’t sure what planet his mind was on, but in my world, you don’t have break up sex with one girl when your dedicating your self to another.

I took him to his Honda, and just as he got out the break-up sex girl came running out of her house.

BABY!!!  I don’t want to break up, I love you.

She raced into his arms.

Besides, I just found out why I was being so mean to you.

You were having PMS?

No, baby, I’m pregnant.

The look on his face was priceless.  I drove away with a smirk on my face, thinking, “Try and lie your way out of that one”.

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Lie Hard… Lie Harder

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