Carpool Nightmare

Inglewood, CA at the Forum

Sometimes I wonder if the rideshare companies realize how far out of the way they send you to pick someone up. For this ride, I had to drive over 10 miles to pick up the carpool passengers.

They were two ladies coming out of a concert and they were messed up!

One was sporting a rock shirt, and tight pants that barely fit her, and the other was wearing a tight skirt and bustier type looking shirt.

As they got in, a second request arrived on my app for carpool. The girl in the bustier, of course, commented.

Ooh! I hope they are cute.

They both chuckled in the back, adjusting themselves to be presentable.

The poor unsuspecting guys had wandered into a neighborhood area to be picked up. They figured it would be easier for me to pick them up at, rather than on the busy street, they later told me.

As I pulled up, the girl with the Bustier jumped out and stumbled over to the grass. I thought she was gonna puke, and wasn’t paying attention until her friend, said, “Uh-uh, now thats just wrong.”

So, I turned my head in her direction and saw the guys just standing their agape as well.

Bustier girl was taking a squat on someones lawn.

What are you looking at? When a girls gotta go, a girls gotta go!

We all stopped looking, and the guys got in.

One made comment of, “Wonder how she’s going to wipe.”, the other just laughed. One guy had a pretty nice tattoo of a serpent slithering down his arm. The other guy was in a plain white T with leather jacket.

Everyone sat in the back so miss squatter had to sit in the front.

Then the nightmare began.

Apparently both girls thought the guys were cute in their drunken stupors. Bustier started the conversation, but it didn’t end there.

Bustier: How did you guys like the show.

Tattoo: It was pretty good, actually it was better than I was expecting, so I’ll have to say it was pretty great.

Rockshirt: I bet the drummer has a huge one.

Bustier: Right? Their performance tonight made me so horny.

Oh yes, they went there, and little miss bustier had her eye on Mr. Tattoo. I could only imagine the horrors running through his mind at this point… but it got worse. They kept hinting at the guys that they wanted to have sex.  The guys kept dodging the conversation the best they could.

White-T: I’m actually pretty hungry, my self.

Bustier: I said horny baby not hungry.

Rockshirt: Do you have big junk Mr. Leather Jacket?

Bustier: Yeah I like it big and long. After pushing out a baby, you need something you can feel in there.

Tattoo: Oh you have a kid?

Bustier: 2 kids, but I’m thinking on having a third some day.

Rockshirt: I only have 1.

She seemed so proud about the fact that she only had one child unwed…. and at that point tried to put her hand on White-T. He “accidentally” spilled his water on her hand.

White-T: I’m sorry, I spilled water back here.

Derek: Not a problem… ( I was just very glad I wasn’t the one getting hit on.)

Rockshirt: So you guys want to come to an after party at our place tonight?

Bustier: Yeah we have plenty of weed and booze. (Mothers of the year)

Tattoo: Actually we don’t swing that way. Our boyfriends would kill us if we went to a party without them.

Clearly these guys were not gay, but it was a valiant play on Tattoo’s part. However, the girls were undaunted by this.

Rockshirt: I don’t know about you Bustier, but I’m up for an Orgy tonight!

Bustier: Hey Mr. Snake Tattoo, wanna show me your other snake?

The guys were squirming in their seats and Bustier already turned in her seat started to move her hand towards his foreign territory. So, I hit the car breaks hard.

Derek: Wow, Almost hit a cat!

Relief swarmed over Tattoo guys face, as we pulled over to let the girls out a few seconds later.

Bustier: You sure you don’t want to come in?

Okay now she was almost pleading at this point.

Tattoo: I have to get home to my boytoy, sorry.

Rockshirt: Thats too bad, you don’t know what you are missing.

She stumbled a little on that note and almost fell.  Then slammed my car door.

We could all hear Bustier say, “They probably have small dicks anyhow”.

I pulled back onto the road, and it was quiet for a few minutes. Then Tattoo piped in,”What the hell was that!?”.

There was laugher… hard laughter for a minute.

White-T said,”Hey man, we aren’t gay, but even saying that didn’t seem to stop them any how.”.

I don’t really think he needed to explain…

Carpool Nightmare

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