Where Do I Put This?

Manhattan Beach, CA

I got summoned near to the pier.

The ocean looked spectacular as it glistened on the water hitting the coast. I had my window down to enjoy the fresh air and perfect temperatures.

“It really doesn’t  get better than this”, I was thinking to my self.

She got in as I pulled up to the curb, wearing nothing but a bathing suit wrapped in a towel.

She was nice, and gave me the address  to her house in Beverly Hills.

As I was concentrating on the road, she was rustling through my stuff in the back.

About halfway there. I was asked,”Where do I put this?”.

I couldn’t see what she was talking about. So I asked her if it was trash. Thinking, she had had some candy or water.

She said yes.

I said,” Hand it to me and I’ll put it in the trash.”

She handed me what felt like a candy wrapper, so I went to crush it in my hand and put it in the little trash holder… bad move.

I felt something warm wet and sticky go on my hand. I immediately pulled over.

As I opened my hand to investigate. It was as I feared, and I gagged.

Grabbing a bottle of water and the bottle of hand sanitizer out of my car. I got out and threw the bloody tampon on the ground. Then rinsed my hand off with water and sanitizer, about 10 times… My rider oblivious, as she was passed out in the back.

Ratchet!

So, after cleansing my self, I finished driving her back to her house.

She wouldn’t wake up with just me calling her name, flashing the lights, or turning up the radio really loud. So, I had to walk up to her huge house, and ring the doorbell. Her mother answered the door. I explained what had transpired, and that I couldn’t get her to wake up. Her mother looked furious, muttered something under her breath about a bad idea giving her daughter a Fake ID, then helped me carry her into the house.

Her mother gave me 150.00 tip and said, thats to keep you honest. I smiled, not to reassure her, but because I knew this was going in my blog.

I got back to my car, and was thrilled to find no stains on my seat.

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Where Do I Put This?

The Perfect Timer.

Santa Monica, CA

Closing time. This is the hour we wait for on the Friday and Saturday nights. No-one cares what they are paying for a ride, they just want to get home without a DUI, besides they just spent 200.00 on alcohol that, if they made it at home would have cost them 30.00 at most.

I pulled up to the Victorian and picked her up.  Her friends she said had ditched her, and she was grateful for having the rideshare app.

Then she turned to me and said,”If I say stop, you have about 3 minutes to get to the side of the road so I can puke.

I laughed and said,”Hopefully that doesn’t happen.”

We went along, chatting about her school, and how she was getting her bachelors in psychology, when suddenly she said,”3 Minutes”.

Now, honestly I thought she was kidding, and I happened to look at my car’s clock when she said it.  Then I pulled over to the side of the road. As she got out and went to an inconspicuous area. She waited for about a minute, and then… BOOM… It all came out.

I checked my clock… Three minutes exactly.

She got back in the car as if nothing had transpired, and we continued our conversation for about another 4 miles. She then told me again 3 minutes and I pulled over.

Seriously it was again 3 almost exact minutes.

When she got back in, I asked her how she knew 3 minutes.

She said her ex-boyfriend kept timing her when she said she felt sick from drinking, and it became an after-drinking-game for them.

We proceeded to her route and only stopped 2 more times. Each time was almost exactly 3 minutes.

Pretty impressive. I have to say, at the least.

The Perfect Timer.

What’s In the bag?

Culver City, CA

The 10 fwy can be kind of scary on a Friday night. People swerve in and out of their lanes after a night of carousel.

As I waded my way off the freeway, I received a request to pick up my next passenger. Shortly there after, I arrived.

She was about 5’8 couldn’t have weighed more than 120lbs.

She asked me to wait a moment while she went and grabbed something. I obliged… figured she forgot her purse or something.

Then she came back with one of the larger sizes of suitcases and a trashbag full of clothes. That something she forgot, was something big.

I, of course, made the off comment of, “So who’s in the trunk”.

She laughed and said,” Just some clothes, shoes, hats and things.”.

I looked at my gps and didn’t show that I was heading to the airport, so I asked,”Traveling?”.

She said,”No, my friend just broke up with his girlfriend and told me to help my self to her things.”.

I said, “That can’t be legal.”.

She said,”Maybe next time she’ll think before she cheats.”.

I dropped her off, and as she started to pull the luggage towards her house, the trash bag ripped open, and out popped some lingerie and other undergarments…. all I could think of was; Now that’s ratchet.

What’s In the bag?