I am not gay…. But you kissed me.

West Hollywood, CA

It was around 2:15am. The streets were en-likened to a zombie apocalypse, the drunk swaying back and forth to keep on their feet, inching closer to the rideshare cars that they think might be theirs. Some falling and stumbling blindly to the ground, as their lesser drunk counterparts attempt to catch them, but fall on their own in the process.

Avoiding the bodies flinging them selves toward my car off Robertson, I carefully made way to the mark on the map.

Two guys got in. One with blue streaked hair that flashed with sparkles. The other dressed normally and looking a little depressed.

They weren’t speaking to each other halfway through the ride, so I turned on the radio, after failing to engage them in conversation.

Finally the normal dressed guy turned to his friend and said plainly,”I am not gay”.

The guy in the back with the blue streaks erupted with, ” But YOU kissed me, I didn’t kiss you”.

The conversation continued:

I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing.

How do you call turning me around on the dance floor, grabbing my face and pulling me towards you to kiss, being drunk and not knowing what you are doing?

I thought you were the girl I was dancing with before.

So now I’m some random bitch in your made up world of lies?

Dude I’m not talking to you anymore, it was an accident, I’m not gay.

You were completely into the kiss too, you looked me directly in the eyes while you were kissing me. Don’t disrespect me like this.


The conversation stopped for a minute or two, then the guy with the blue streaks in his hair turned to the other guy and kissed him. I swore the other guy was going to throw a punch, but he stopped and they just continued to make out in the back seat of my vehicle for a few minutes.

Then the guy in the normal clothes turned to the guy with the blue streaks and started to cry.

He said, “I think I’m gay.”

It got quiet in the vehicle as they just held each other in the back.  I dropped them off shortly after and then went on my way.

I am not gay…. But you kissed me.

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