A Cup Holder I am Not!

Culver City, CA

It was an early Thursday morning, around 2am. Nothing eventful ever occurs on a Thursday morning, or so I thought.

I get summoned to a near by Gentlemen’s club off of S. Robertson, to pick up a couple.

The woman gets in, and instructs me on how to get to a house that is about 5 blocks away.

While she’s giving me instruction, the man in the back says, “Are you sure you want to do this?”

She replies,”Its about dignity and how I feel”.

I pull over to the stop, and she gets out of the car. I’m about to take off when the guy in the back says, “Just wait, we’ll be going back to our place soon.”

Now curious, I cock my head to the left to take a gander at what is going on.

The woman walks up to a duplex and screams,”YOU’LL NEVER SEE THESE AGAIN!! YOU HEAR ME?! NEVER! YOU REALLY FUCKED UP THIS TIME!”, while proceeding to rip open her blouse to expose herself to the world.

Shocked, and I’m sure turning very bright red in the face, I control a laugh, as to not embarrass the guy that is in my back seat any further than he probably already is… or so I thought.

She makes her way back to the car, buttoning up her shirt.  She gets in, and gives me an address to their residence in Hollywood.

They request a little music, and I’m thinking, “Sure anything to get what I just saw out of my head”.

Then the lyrics she’s singing are definitely not matching whats on the radio. She goes on to sing a rendition of bad romance, in the form of “I want your cock, and I’ll give you some head, you and me can fuck right in my bed…. ” then puts her hand on my ceiling and lurches her bottom torso upward in a gyrating mess of sexual innuendo singing, “Oh oh OOOOOOOOH…”. Yeah you get the picture.

Anyhow, all I’m thinking is,”That guy is definitely getting lucky tonight.”

Then it happens, I feel a soft, warm, moist pull of lips enticingly nibbling against my earlobe. Shocked, I almost crash the car.  I pull over to the side of the road and look back.

Instead of being angry, the guy in the back winks at me.

Images of  high fiving, sword crossing, and cup holding flash before my eyes. I immediately tell them convincingly… even though I’m not wearing a wedding ring, that my wife would definitely not approve of this.

They believed me and calmed down.

After I dropped them off at their place, I quickly ran to the pharmacy and bought some hand sanitizer. I rubbed it gingerly on my ear. God only knows where that mouth has been.

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A Cup Holder I am Not!

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