The Ratchet Tumbler

It was around 4am in the morning. I was pushing it for the night, trying to make an even $350.00, after being beaten over the head with a 20% takeaway from my rideshare company.

I got summoned to a residence in Santa Monica.

As I pulled up , this 5’6, white, Barbie looking girl is sneaking out of the house.

The first thing I notice, is her hair. Neatly slicked to the side on one side, but wildly tangled to the other. A bun undone.

She carefully closes the door behind her, and starts to walk down the steps.

Did I mention she’s wearing what had to have been 4 inch heals?

Well, she makes it down the fist step.  She almost makes it down the second step, and then her right foot starts to wobble, causing her to tumble into the bushes.

As our girl gets up out of the bushes, she quickly does a one over on her self, brushes her self off and starts to walk toward my car, as if nothing had happened.

While walking to the car, at first I thought she was limping. Upon further inspection, I noticed that she was actually missing a shoe. It was kind of like watching someone on a merry go round as she got closer and closer to my car.

Then… sudden impact. I’m not sure what she tripped on, but her face impacted on my window, leaving a streak of lipstick smeared as far as her face moved down.

Again, it was as if I wasn’t there to her… Mind you I’m laughing somewhat hard.  She got up , brushed her self off,  looked down, noticed she was missing her shoe. She didn’t take off her other shoe,  instead proceeds in the opposite direction of my car to retrieve the lost one… Up and down , up and down etc…

Once our little ratchet tumbler has picked up her shoe, she ends up turning around and walking back towards the car. She still hasn’t realized she has the other shoe on.

Then, it was as if a dim light flickered for an instance behind her eyes, as she stopped, looked down really hard at her feet, and finally removed the other shoe.

When she finally sat back down in my car, looking at the bemusement on my face… I really tried to hide it, but couldn’t…  She said only 3 words to me for the whole trip back to her place, “Don’t Judge Me”.

I was able to control my laugh that was trying to escape from me and took her home.

Just an after note, it’s very hard to get lipstick off the window of your car.

The Ratchet Tumbler

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